Spongebob Squarepants the Movie Review!
You know, I was originally planning on starting a whole december, christmas like month long celebration, but plans had to be put on hold for a while, considering the recent untimely death of Stephen Hillenburg. And seeing how we’re not exactly television “Critics” over here at the review crew, in order to honor him we’ve decided to take a look at a classic movie from a lot of our childhoods and see if it still holds up!
Ok, so in order to remain as unbiased as possible, lets all pretend that we have never heard of spongebob in any form before, ok? Ok. The movie begins with a rather comedic scene of live action pirates getting tickets to go to a movie theatre and watch the movie that we’re about to watch. After that strange little bit of meta humor, the film proper begins with an over the top dream sequence where a burger not having cheese on it is treated with the same seriousness as a person with a bomb stuck to them that needs to get diffused.
After waking up, our main character, Spongebob, excitedly says that today he’s very confident that he’s going to be getting the manager position at the second restaurant in the Krusty Krab, franchise, the best restaurant in Bikini Bottom. We get a few scenes of him getting ready for his day, annoying his neighbor squidward, and talking to his best friend Patrick about how they’re going to celebrate at the Goofy Goober, an ice cream parlor.
Meanwhile, Spongebob’s boss Mr.Krabs is being interviewed about the newly opening Krusty Krab 2, which is opening directly next to the first one. However, watching in the distance is Plankton, owner of the chum bucket that is positioned directly across from the Krusty Krab. Plankton is enraged at the success of his direct competitor, and laments that he’s used up all his evil ideas, however his wife Karren, a computer, points out that he’s an idiot and doesn’t know that Z is a letter, and when Plankton looks at plan Z he is awestruck and calls it his most evil plan yet.
A bit later, Mr.Krabs is holding a ceremony, in which he chooses squidward to be the manager of the Krusty Krab 2, spongebob makes a knucklehead McSpazatron out of himself, and is told that he didn’t get the job since he’s a kid, causing him to go off to the Goofy Goober depressed. Him and Patrick get chocolate wasted however, and in the meantime Plankton steals the crown of king neptune, and pins it on Mr.Krabs. The next morning king Neptune brings his daughter, Mindy, to the Krusty Krab in order to execute Mr.Krabs for stealing his crown.
Just in time, Spongebob comes in hungover as shit as King Neptune is asking if anyone has anything to say that could clear his name. Spongebob instead calls him an asshole and because of that Neptune tries to kill him, but luckily thanks to the help of Mindy, Spongebob gets the chance to save Mr.Krabs by traveling to the mystical land of Shell city to get the crown in 6 days. Neptune freezes Mr.Krabs, and spongebob and patrick set out in the Patty Mobile to get the crown back!
While no one is at the Krusty Krab, Plankton sneaks in and steals the secret formula to make Krabby Patties, and starts selling them at the Chum Bucket, with a free helmet with every purchase. So basically it’d be like if McDonalds started selling Whoppers, got it. Meanwhile, Spongebob and Patrick get heckled by these two southern fish, and only last 12 seconds over the county line before the Patty Wagon gets stolen. After a bit of walking they come across a bar where the Patty Wagon just so happens to be in. After a bit of chaos, they manage to get away with the Patty Wagon, and are back on the job!
Back at Bikini Bottom, Squidward manages to quickly deduce what Plankton did, however he quickly gets detained when Plankton reveals that the helmets are actually mind control devices, and he quickly takes over the town. Back with Spongebob and Patrick, they get into a bit of a chase scene before they lose the Patty wagon, and spongebob and Patrick start to think that maybe they just can’t do it, and that they’re both kids. Mindy returns however, shows them that Plankton has taken over Bikini Bottom, and tricks the two of them into thinking they’re men. We get a quick song number, and are almost at Shell City, and it looks like they’re gonna get the crown, save the town, and Mr.Krabs! What could possibly get in their way?
The characters in this film are, alright as far as characters are concerned. I mean yeah there’s nothing deep or complex, but, it’s a movie called Spongebob Squarepants, I don’t think anyone was expecting that, nor should it even be there. The characters are simple, but that’s because they’re supposed to.
The voice acting is actually pretty good, you can tell that after three years of doing these voices, these guys can nail these characters perfectly, making some emotional scenes genuinely emotional as we’re going to see later. All in all, things seem pretty good!
I have a bad feeling that what I’m gonna say is going to get a lot of hate, but, I really didn’t think this film was that funny. Now don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying it isn’t funny at all, it had me snickering quite a lot, but earlier in the week I watched some early spongebob, you know the classic first 3 seasons, and some of those episodes had me laughing much harder much more frequently, so I don’t really see what happened here. I get that humor is subjective, but since this review is based off my opinion, I have to say that the jokes in this film are, lacking.
So after making their way to the outskirts of shell city, a bounty hunter that was hired by Plankton to kill our heroes, finally caught up with them, reveals that their mustaches are fake and proceeds to immediately get stepped on by the cyclops that guards shell city, whos humorously just a scuba diver in one of those old fashioned scuba suits. He kidnaps our heroes and takes them to shell city, where our heroes find out exactly what shell city actually is, a gift shop that kidnaps fish, kills them, and uses them to make novelty gifts.
They then get thrown onto a drying table, and start dying. But they notice that they actually did make it to the crown, and they get so full of joy they shed a tear and we get the most emotional scene you’ll ever see a sponge and starfish appear in. After another random meta moment, the pirates point out the fact that their tear is moving down the wire of the lamp, causing it to short circuit, thus causing the sprinklers to turn on, bringing our heroes back to life!
However, just as they grab the crown, the cyclops stops them, but luckily all the other fish in the house also come in, and after a short battle, our heroes manage to make it to the shore, and in order to make it to Bikini Bottom in time, they get the help of David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff. While riding on his back however, the bounty hunter comes back! Only to immediately get hit by a boat and knocked off The Hoff. He then shoots the crown with our heroes into the Krusty Krab 2 just as King Neptune is he’s about to kill Mr.Krabs. The day is saved! Or is it?
No! Since Plankton reveals a super crown that falls on Neptune’s head, making him also under Planktons control! Just as Plankton is about to kill them, Spongebob gives a powerful speech about how you are who you are, and then randomly bursts into a parody of twisted sisters I wanna rock, and due to the power of his rock and roll, he destroys the helmets and gets plankton arrested! Spongebob is rewarded with becoming the manager of Krusty Krab 2 instead of squidward, cue the ocean man song, the end.
Look, I’m a 16-20 year old man, I grew up on this movie just like many of you did, but sadly, I just have to face facts in saying that, this movie is not as great as I remember it is. Not saying it’s not bad, or not enjoyable I do still recommend this movie, I just don’t think it’s as great as I remember it being. It does have the distinction, however, of being the only really good movie from that wave of movie versions of tv shows that we had in the late 90s and early 2000s.
We all know what happened after this movie, Stephen Hillenburg left the show, and it began a massive downward spiral in quality, until he finally returned for seasons 9-12, which are the best seasons the shows had in years, as well as the movie sponge out of water, which I have yet to see. I hope that the future of this little franchise is bright, but I doubt it. But who knows, maybe the 3rd movie will be good! RIP Stephen, you made a great tv show and a pretty alright few movies.